


temptations of grey

by punkeraa



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure & Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-16 13:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16087118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkeraa/pseuds/punkeraa
Summary: Nightmares filled with the ghostly voice of a woman haunt Supreme Leader Kylo Ren; a constant reminder of the discord within. Terrifying dreams plague Rey, casting doubt on choices she’s made.Both find themselves stranded on a humid jungle planet in unknown territory, captured and forced to participate in a strange mystical ceremony. Rey and Kylo must work together in their journey through the jungle, facing themselves and each other in the pursuit of balance.





	1. Chapter 1

The sun shone brilliantly the day Kylo Ren’s empire crumbles to ashes over his head. Hux’s smug sneer will never leave his memory, burned into the backs of his eyes as the general came to deliver the news: the redhead’s coup was successful. The treacherous general walked into Kylo’s office with handheld cages of ysalamiri, and commanded his loyal troopers to cuff Kylo. They hauled him through the Coruscanti palace; he almost tripped a few times, utterly disoriented as the stormtroopers shoved him into the bottom of what feels like a cargo.

“Sorry, Ren,” Hux all but snarled, absolutely no trace of remorse in his nasal voice. “But when I said I wanted to bring order to the galaxy, that meant getting rid of you. We need a leader who is calm, collected, and level headed in all situations. Your emotions make you weak.”

Despite being blindfolded, a black bag roughly thrown over his head in his office, Kylo can easily visualize Hux’s satisfied expression. The recently deposed Supreme Leader shook with rage, breathing in deep, ragged breaths, but was utterly unable to do anything with his connection to the Force cut. 

“Have fun wherever it is you’re going. I’m sure you won’t last long,” Hux said in farewell, the ramp’s hydraulic hiss indicating the shuttle’s readiness for take off soon. 

Such a lovely day soured so quickly, so permanently. The boiling rage subsided into an icy numbness, hidden behind crystalline walls and sealed away. This lack of emotional response would’ve startled him, if surviving the next few hours didn’t take priority over everything else. _Is this how Rey felt on Jakku? Focusing only on making it through the night?_ he thought, before quickly switching trajectories. Anything but the pain of her memory.

Kylo thoroughly believed the sun had finally decided to shine down on him, lighting the path he fought so hard to forge. He remembered golden warmth, dreaming in shades of hazel until they discarded him at his destination.

* * *

He sits in a field of soft, swaying grass. It ripples all around him, a green sea shimmering in the wind. The sunlight gleams so bright the sky is an almost blinding white. It is breathtaking, awe inspiring. Yet, he can’t find it in himself to enjoy this place, the serenity skirting at the edges of his awareness, attempting to enter his mind’s confines. Too bad a lifetime with Snoke in his head left the young man to possessively covet the private space inside his mind.

Conflict, a ghostly voice says. The peaceful silence shatters all around him as he rapidly turns from side to side, trying to see from where this intruder comes. 

Closing his eyes, he withdraws into the Force to aid him in his search. Only he can’t reach it. The Force lingers on the edge of his senses—he’s aware of its location but is unable to touch it, like an invisible wall shuts him out. 

_Ben_ , says a woman’s voice. His heart skips a beat; rapid breathing further disturbs the ruined silence. Is Rey here somewhere? Hope bubbles throughout his chest as he thinks he’ll finally get a chance to talk to her in person, actually explain things this time around. 

_Kylo Ren_ , sneers another voice. Snoke’s malicious tone creates a lead weight in his stomach, fear quickly gnawing up his spine. He flinches, moving on instinct in an attempt to protect himself from his former master inflicting pain. 

But it never comes. Only that strange first disembodied speaker, somehow coming from every possible direction in the open grass field.

_You are conflicted, young one. Mend your broken spirit and the Force will return to you_ , this sublime entity dictates. 

The brilliant white light expands, quickly swallowing everything in its path, even the man in the field.

* * *

Kylo wakes in a humid overgrown jungle. Insects chirp all around him, birds hooting in the darkness up above him. Luckily his hands are unbound, though his wrists are raw from chafing against the metal cuffs. Shaking his head, he stands and checks himself for damage; after all, the men who disposed of Kylo were loyal to Hux. 

Breathing deep lungfuls, he centers himself and calms his rattling mind. The fury from before is still locked, too far away from his reach; it should alarm him, but he finds he doesn’t really care about his emotional presence. Stretching out with his senses, calling for that familiar and comforting feeling, Kylo falls deeper into his trance. 

After standing there for two minutes with nothing happening, his dark eyes open in confusion. The Force ignores him, refusing to answer his call. 

“Perhaps there are more of those infernal reptiles around,” Kylo rationalizes, nodding his head along in agreement with his findings. 

That’s a sound explanation as to why he can’t even feel the Force around him. The former Supreme Leader chooses a random direction to head towards, attempting a solution to his woes. He ignores the dread creeping up around his mind like a dense fog, ignores someone’s warning words who exists in a field of blinding light.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey sits in darkness, the moonlight casting her quarters in a lonely glow. She shivers, wrapping her scratchy blanket around her tanned, freckled shoulders. The nightmare forced her awake, the same one that’s haunted her for months.

Yet something changed tonight. It still frightened her, but Ben stood there. Not the Supreme Leader, not the Knight of Ren, but Ben Solo. He’d been right next to her, his hand offered in supplication, a bright and beautiful smile on his face.

But then his face morphed into a horrifying twist of sickly grey skin, piercing red eyes, and rows of razor sharp teeth. Her Ben, transformed into a hideous monster. That same sinister voice rang throughout the dark space in which she was glued, promising death and destruction to everyone she held dear until she willed herself awake. 

To calm her nerves, Rey searches for that part of her mind, that foreign yet comforting presence that belongs to another. Ben’s mind glows luminously at the intersection. Rey is almost tempted to open it, making sure he is alive and well. But she doesn’t have the courage; she can’t face him, not with this prolonged silence existing between them. 

She laid an ultimatum at his feet, the last time they met: the First Order or her. They had been seeing each other discretely for six months; it’s half a year removed from that terrible rendezvous on Pamarthe. Rey had been sneaking off to see Ben for months at that point, but the guilt she felt for betraying the confidence of her Resistance friends became too much to bear; she was cuddling with the man in command of the armies hunting her friends. She still longed for Ben to join them, to rescind the darkness and walk in the light with her. Every time they broached the subject of their respective sides, and the Force, he grew furious. Rey saw the loneliness shining in his eyes when she set her boundaries, indicating she would not continue this. 

When Ben’s mouth helplessly gaped at her, Rey left before a sob could escape her lips. She never thought her heart would explode into tiny shards, but Ben Solo taught her a lot in their time together. 

Moving off the narrow window ledge, Rey’s bare feet touch cold stone as she pads to her bed. Staring at the night sky for hours finally brought the peace of mind she craved in order to fall back asleep. She meditated upon waking up, but the Force would not let her in. 

_Perhaps my mind wasn’t settled down enough_ , Rey thinks as her head hits the pillow.

She dreams of warm, vibrant jungles and a full moon, large and luminous as she runs through the lush greenery. Rey chases after Ben, waiting for her on this unknown planet, his back towards her. He radiates peace, his conflict resolved and swept away.

* * *

“I think the Force wants me to go somewhere,” Rey tells Leia when she enters the General’s makeshift office. She unceremoniously plops onto a chair, warm caf resting between her calloused hands. 

Leia simply raises a brow, prompting Rey to continue. Rey explains her dream, how Ben materialized there and how he felt so at peace. A faraway look glazes over Rey’s eyes as she gets lost in her dream version of Ben Solo. 

Clearing her throat, Leia asks, “How do you know it’s the Force telling you to go and not you simply dreaming what you want?”

The General’s doubt dampens Rey’s mood. She didn’t think of that, too happy and excited at the possibility of finding what will return Ben to the light. Is she too wishful? Suddenly remembering a significant piece of her dream, steely determination returns to Rey full strength. She knows the Force is responsible, wants her to go to this jungle planet. Shaking her head, Rey stares at Leia. 

“I know it’s the Force. Before I woke up, it whispered to me the planet’s name, Lao-mon. It promised that if I went there the conflict would end,” Rey explains. She doesn’t mention that the Force left out which conflict; of course it’s Ben, she feels no disagreement within herself. 

Chuckling and shaking her head, Leia looks back down at the reports she’d been reading earlier. “Looks like there’s no stopping you. Just make sure you come back in one piece, even if you don’t exactly find what you’re looking for. And say goodbye to everyone, they’ll want know where you went.” 

A small smile graces Rey’s lips as she looks at the woman before her, the closest thing to a mother she’s ever known. She feels Leia’s small flicker of hope for her son to return. Reaching out and taking one of Leia’s hands, Rey squeezes it in thanks before moving to exit the office. 

“Oh, and Rey,” the General calls after her once she’s halfway through the door. She smiles warmly, that small hope shining in her eyes, before saying, “May the Force be with you.”

* * *

A small goodbye party stands around the _Millenium Falcon_ , chatting amongst themselves in the midday heat. Chewbacca says something that gets a laugh out of everyone who can understand him; a porg rests on one of his shoulders, large black eyes piercing into Finn who shifts uncomfortably under the small bird’s gaze. 

“I’ve only ever heard of Lao-mon in legends. Tell us what it’s like when you get back, please?” Rose asks, eyes gleaming with excitement as her hands clasp together in front of her.

Rey nods in promise, flashing a brilliant smile to her friend. “I will, when we finish up repairing whatever malfunctions this trip will cause the _Falcon_.”

Everyone laughs, as carefree as they can be during these uncertain times. Hopping around the Outer Rim, sometimes dipping into the Unknown Regions, the Resistance steadily grew in members, ships, and credits in the past year since Crait. The First Order still hunts them down vehemently, killing anyone and everyone they catch associating with the freedom fighters. It all has Hux’s signature, but Ben’s as well since he allows and approves of these measures. 

“I better go. The sooner I leave, the sooner I come back,” Rey says, looking down at her feet. She hates leaving, anxiety practically rooting her to the spot; what if this is the last time she sees all her friends together, smiling and laughing? Shaking the thought from her head, she offers what she hopes is a fearless smile. 

Finn steps forward, hugging her tightly and squeezing her shoulders. “Be safe. I’ll see you when you get back.”

Once aboard the _Falcon_ , all pre-flight checks complete, Rey opens herself up to the Force. This time it welcomes her excitedly, rapidly enveloping her. With her eyes closed, she inputs Lao-mon’s coordinates and starts her journey.

* * *

Only when Rey is deep into hyperspace does the Resistance get word of General Hux’s successful military coup. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, by all accounts, is dead.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo concludes he absolutely loathes jungle planets. He’d never set foot on another humid world ever again, not as long as he lives. But given his current circumstances, he may die on this forsaken hunk of rock. He walked for a day before finding water that seemed clean enough to drink, his throat parched beyond belief. His thoughts flickered to Rey as he drank the cool water —had this been part of her everyday life growing up on Jakku?

He lays on a shaded patch of dirt, staring holes into the jungle canopy above him. Animals move all around him, completely ignoring him defenselessly sitting there. Kylo clenches grass, roughly ripping it out. That bastard Hux did something to sever his connection to the Force, that’s the only reason as to why Kylo can’t feel its presence within him, can’t manipulate it to his will. 

“Maybe too much exposure to those kriffing lizards,” he whispers through chapped lips. 

The languid heat makes him drowsy, eyelids growing heavier with each passing second. Kylo fights the urge to sleep, afraid of that light field . After that dream—or perhaps nightmare—his life has gone steadily downhill. He’d rather avoid that for as long as he can, forcing himself not to blink. 

It proves a fruitless exercise; Kylo slips into unconsciousness seconds later, right after a familiar saucer-shaped ship flies above the trees. He sleeps right through the local inhabitants finding, binding, and hauling him roughly to their village. No dreams haunt his mind.

* * *

As soon as the _Falcon_ touches down on a field of rotted forest foliage, something feels off to Rey. The enormous moon hangs in the pinking sky, the sun brightly burning and casting everything into shadow. The two celestial bodies look too close to each other, unnerving and unnatural. Despite the wicked humidity, Rey shivers as she stares at the sky. 

Attempting to shake off the feeling, Rey slowly lowers herself to the ground. Sitting in a cross legged position, she closes her eyes and reaches out, the way Luke taught her in another part of the Unknown Regions. 

The dread intensifies when Rey discovers she can’t feel the Force.

Panic bubbles in her chest, her hands shaking violently while her breathing becomes short and ragged. Why would the Force lead her here only to disappear when she needs it most? Fear propels Rey forward, running into the jungle to get away from this terrifying realization and its implications.

That horrible voice from her nightmare ricochets around her brain. _Too much conflict in you, little one_ , it gently snarls. 

Screaming, Rey shuts her eyes even though her legs continue to run. She neither sees nor feels the twisted root directly in her path until her foot catches on it. Rey violently tumbles to the hard crusted earth, her head smacking with a resounding crack. 

The large moon, too close, menacingly watches Rey as she blinks into unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey wakes up in that same dark field, the surface rippling beneath her feet and distorting the glowing white orb shimmering in the reflection. Unable to move, she waits in silence for the disembodied voice to taunt her. Rey senses this is its home turf. 

_I’m glad you followed my directions, little one_ , it purrs. A sharp sting of annoyance spikes through Rey, but she quickly forces it down lest this creature somehow becomes aware. How was she so easily manipulated by whatever taunts her? 

_You still don’t realize why you’re here_ , it laughs, a hint of smugness creeping into its voice. Her eyes roll; she can’t help it, her annoyance winning out. 

“It would be awfully nice of you to explain it then,” she bites out, glaring holes into the stupid moon. The dark liquid surface ripples every time the voice speaks—is it that ghostly reflection? Rey wishes she could move, wishes she could splash her hand in the water to disrupt that serene image.

_You are in conflict, little one. Mend your soul, expose yourself to the true Force, and it will return to you_ , the moon promises before sinking into the obliterating darkness. Soon the liquid rises around Rey until nothing is left but blackness.

* * *

A splitting headache and a dull pain on the left side of her head bring Rey into consciousness. Blinking slowly, the world comes into blurry focus until sharpening into distinct features. Hair sticks to her face, itchy and irritating; Rey makes to move her hand to brush away the offending hair but finds herself bound to a wooden pole. Her feet are similarly tied as she hangs from the wood. 

Next to her, staring directly at her, is Ben. 

“What are you doing here?!” Rey asks, eyes wide with surprise. She drinks in the sight of him, relieved to see he’s okay. His lips are chapped but his skin still retains a healthy glow; his hair shiny and glossy, though a little oily from being out here for however long. It’s his eyes that are different. 

Loss. Confusion. Longing. Love. 

She turns away, unwilling to see the emotions clearly playing out in the depths of his dark brown eyes. The tears blink away before spilling over onto her face, a shaky breath slightly calming her rattling nerves. 

“I’m just hanging around,” Ben says dryly. Whipping to face him, to call out the terrible pun, Rey sees a faint teasing smile lift the corners of his lips. Her heart skips a beat, light red blooming across her cheeks. 

They’re so close, only a meter apart, suspended in the air by thick twine and sturdy wood. She wishes she could reach out, run her fingers through his soft hair. Chewing on her bottom lip, Rey looks away from Ben’s distraction to analyze their surroundings. 

Hundreds of locals mill about an open village center, conducting their everyday business. Two guards are stationed nearby, holding deadly spears and facing forward. These sentients are huge, easily taller than Ben by a half meter. Their pale grey skin, hairless bodies, and enormous black eyes are unlike any species Rey has seen before. They speak in an unknown language, rough and guttural but with a surprisingly pleasant rhythm.

“Do you know where we are?” Ben asks, his eyes never leaving her face. 

Confused, Rey returns her attention to him. “Don’t you know? We’re on Lao-mon, in the Unknown Regions.”

An irritated growl rumbles past his lips, low and throaty. Unbidden rage morphs his face, his scowl severe as he takes in their surroundings with new eyes. Something is not right; why would he not know where he is? Rey curses this planet, eyes narrowed into slits. 

“Ben,” she whispers, looking at him softly. “What happened?”

The Supreme Leader’s rage falls, crumbling into sadness and regret. Rey’s heart aches to reach out and hold his hand, to comfort him and try her best to chase away the pain. Before he gets the chance to speak, a group of locals makes its way towards them. The fragile vulnerability on Ben’s face disappears, replaced by an indifferent, cold mask.

A slightly hunched sentient approaches them when the others stop a few meters away. They smile kindly, large eyes somewhat shut with age. Wrinkles line their eyes and toothless mouth, a ceremonial headpiece of feathers and wood resting atop their slumped head. 

“Hello,” they greet in Basic, eyes closing with their grin. 

Not one to waste time on pleasantries, Ben snaps, “Who are you and what do you want with us?” 

“You speak Basic—do you have contact with other civilizations outside the Unknown Regions?” Rey questions, eyes squinting in suspicion. How much contact did these people have with worlds outside this part of space? 

Turning their head, the elder points to a silver rectangle behind their small ears. A personal universal translator allowing them to speak their own language and have it translated into something as common as Basic, demonstrating they do have contact with other civilizations.

Flashing that same gummy grin, the elder ignores both Rey and Ben’s question. “My name is Roth Gemini. I am my people’s spiritual leader. Pleased to meet you, Rey of Jakku and Ben Solo.”

Their eyes widen, Rey sharply inhaling. Roth Gemini chuckles, a low throaty sound nearly drowning out the chirping insects hidden in the surrounding field’s tall grass. Their wrinkled hands tightly grasp their dark oak staff, softly thudding it against the ground in time with their laugh.

“How do you know who we are?” Ben whispers, a furious scowl twisting his features. If looks could kill, everyone in their vicinity would drop dead. 

“You have come to us during our holiest time—the convergence will take place soon, in a matter of hours. The Sun and Moon gods have delivered you to us; you are both chosen,” Roth explains, a gleeful expression twisting their features into the same toothless smile. 

Whatever religious ceremony is about to happen is obviously very important to these people. Rey looks beyond Roth and his entourage to the village a few hundred meters in front of them. Villagers carry large bundles of fresh fruits, grains, and deliciously cooked meats, depositing them at the center plaza. Others bring different offerings, carved figures or bottles of liquid. Everyone’s overall feeling is happiness, pure joy at such a festive time. Rey wishes she could share their feelings, but her fear of being a sacrifice dampens her mood considerably. 

“You haven’t answered the question,” Rey says, staring off into the distance. 

Clicking their tongue, Roth chides, “You humans are so impatient. You know of the Force, yes? As it communicates to you, so it communicates to us. It told us where to find you, that you would carry the orbs to the Temple of Sun and Moon. That is why we know your names, and why you are here with us.” 

Confusion replaces the fear in Rey’s chest, pulling her brows together while she stares and gapes at this person. Orbs? Temple? What exactly are their plans for them? 

Ben’s rough barking laugh breaks Rey’s reverie. Turning to shoot him an annoyed look, to remind him he’s being rude, Rey darkly stares at his profile. 

“Your gods are wrong,” Ben informs them with twisted satisfaction. “For whatever reason, the Force abandoned me.”

Before Rey can stop herself, she says, “You too?”

The sunlight highlights the resplendent gold flecks hidden in Ben’s dark brown eyes’ depths. Wide with shock and the barest amount of fear, he searches Rey’s face for a hint of dishonesty. His gaze lingers a moment longer on her lips before quickly darting back to look her in the eyes. 

Roth merely chuckles again, leaning more heavily against their staff. “Why yes, of course it has. The mark of the chosen—you must make this journey on your own, without the Force’s aid. You both carry conflict you must resolve if you want your connection returned.”

“Now come, let us begin our journey,” Roth says, nodding to the guards, two for each end of their respective poles. Ben and Rey are whisked into the dense jungle as twilight twinkles on the horizon.


	5. Chapter 5

Even though looming moon is so close to the planet, it barely lights the jungle’s darkness. Kylo grunts in anger, his guards roughly tossing him to the floor. One harshly grabs his hands, quickly cutting through the bundles of twine binding his wrists; the other repeats the motion for the rope around his ankles. Rubbing his chafed wrists, Kylo stands to his full height. He’s still considerably shorter than any of these beings. 

He involuntarily walks to Rey’s side, positioning himself slightly in front of her in a protective stance. Her fingers lightly brush against the exposed skin on the back of his hand, sending an electric shiver up Kylo’s spine. He turns his head, meeting her soft gaze with his own. He’s missed her so much. 

Roth stands before them, two acolytes on either side carrying wooden chests. Unlocking each one, they're quickly drawn to the glowing, pulsating orbs cushioned in velvet within the boxes. 

The orbs appear no bigger than his palm, but they radiate such power Kylo is afraid it will weigh them down. These people want them to haul these things through the jungle at night? Kylo almost rolls his eyes but stops himself, his mother’s etiquette training kicking into high gear.

The high priest takes the dark orb, holding it with utmost care. The expression on their face changes, an angry scowl slowly relaxing into something more peaceful. They dump the circle of darkness into Rey’s palm, much to both of their surprise. 

“The Moon orb,” Roth says, explaining. “This represents the dark side of the Force, the raw and passionate emotions you, young Rey, attempt to bury in a broken view of what the Force is.”

“And for you,” Roth says as they place the bright white orb into Kylo’s palm, “the Sun orb. The representation of the light side and lighter emotions such as happiness and serenity. You, Ben Solo, repress these things because you believe they make you weak.”

Anger wells within Kylo as he murderously glares at Roth and the people behind them. The ball of light violently quivers in his palm, growing hotter by the second. Eyes snapping back to Roth, Kylo silently demands an explanation from the chuckling priest.

“Ah yes, a word of advice for you both. These are no ordinary orbs; they are imbued with the Force itself, able to read your emotions and absorb them. As such, they are extremely dangerous when fed too much of the opposite. Each has a balance, slightly tipped to one side. Maintain that within yourselves and you will be fine.”

“You have until noon tomorrow to reach the temple. Stray from the path and the orbs will become volatile. Trust in them to guide you, and open yourselves to the Force once more.”

Roth Gemini and local entourage leave the two humans in the humid jungle’s loneliness.

* * *

Kylo doesn’t know how he hasn’t fallen in the last three hours he and Rey have walked. The orbs lead them through a path littered with twisting vines and gnarled tree roots; the dense jungle canopy prevents the moon from illuminating the ground. All of this would be easier if he could use the Force. 

The white orb starts trembling, shaking at a faster rate due to Kylo’s frustration and anger. Figuring things can’t get any worse, he begrudgingly stomps down his irritation and finds that place buried deep within his mind, a place that suspiciously looks like a swaying green grass field surrounded by a blinding light. 

Rey walks beside him, her furrowed brow and sweat sheen the only indicators of her concentration. So far, her orb hasn’t given her problems. Kylo can’t help the smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. 

“What?” she hisses, catching the look on his face. For a second, their eyes meet, butterflies stirring in his stomach. He averts his gaze back towards the temple path. 

He’s tired of silence. They haven’t seen each other in six months, haven’t heard the other’s voice in half a year. Kylo misses talking to her. 

Clearing his throat, Kylo asks, “What brought you out here?”

The crunching of their feet fills the air around them, mingling with buzzing insects and avian hoots. The jungle cacophony swells with tension, creating a bubble around them while they continue walking quietly. He focuses on Rey’s steady breathing to curb the sharp sting of rejection. 

He swears he hears Rey’s mouth open, but his head snaps to attention at the sound of something else coming towards them. Something large, heavy, and scary enough to be driving away the other animals in their vicinity. Kylo stops, attempting to pinpoint the noise’s direction through his hearing alone. 

“Ben, what are you—” Rey begins, but she never gets the chance to finish. 

A pack of enormous four legged animals break through the trees at lightning fast speed. If Kylo hadn’t stopped, if Rey hadn’t followed his lead, they would have been crushed to death in an instant. But suddenly they catch one of the beasts’ attention, bright yellow eye locking on them as it changes direction, running straight at them. 

Kylo doesn’t even think. He just reaches out to tug Rey by her elbow, sending her roughly into nearby bushes. He immediately follows, landing on hard earth with a dull thud. The animal continues straight, not noticing its prey disappeared. 

Panting hard, Kylo closes his eyes to steady himself. He focuses on calming his breathing, finding the serenity he’s barely been clinging to before the little ball explodes and kills him. To his surprise, Kylo finds he doesn’t need to spend much time coming down; apparently he’s more attuned to the light than he originally believed. 

“Are you okay?” he whispers, turning to look at Rey. 

She’s sitting up, her lone bun completely out of its bindings. Mud smears across her cheeks and clothes, but nothing appears to be out of place or bleeding. At least he got her out of the way first. Rey turns her penetrating gaze onto him, squinting in the deep darkness. A laugh bubbles its way past her lips as she continues looking at him. 

Pushing himself up, Kylo looks at her with an unamused expression. “We could have been killed. Please enlighten me as to what’s so funny.”

Her smile is so dazzling, so vivid, Kylo’s heart skips a beat in his chest. A blush quickly reddens the hidden tips of his ears. 

“You have stuff in your hair,” explains Rey before plucking leaves off his head. She laughs once more, reaching for more debris stuck in his hair. Her fingers accidentally graze his ear, lingering for a second longer than necessary. Kylo notices the way her breath hitches before she looks away, withdrawing her hand and folding it in her lap. 

Looking upwards where the stars should be, Rey starts, “I came here because I had a dream, or nightmare. It was the Force, coming to me as a monster. I think it said that I needed to come here in order to truly understand the Force. Do you think the inhabitants knew we would be here?” 

Her soulful hazel eyes pierce through him. Kylo simply nods, too dumbstruck to answer with words. 

“Why are you here, Ben?” Rey stands, brushing debris off her trousers before making her way through the bushes. She looks behind at him expectantly, raising an eyebrow in an unsaid challenge. 

He still hasn’t vocalized what transpired the last time he was on Coruscant. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply to quell the rising rage; the crystalline wall still has not completely come undone and it aids Kylo in this trial. He stands and looks up, vision blurry with unshed tears. 

“I was deposed. Hux staged a coup, captured, and dropped me here.”

Kylo doesn’t miss Rey’s soft intake of breath or how she takes a step towards him. When he looks back down, she’s in front of him with her hand awkwardly raised halfway towards his face. Barely nodding in approval, Rey’s hand cups the scarred side of his face. 

Rey quietly parrots his earlier question, asking, “Are you okay?”

When was the last time he truly felt okay? Kylo thinks of holding Rey, the second to last time they’d been together before everything went supernova. His peaceful moments are all with her, and in the past six months they’ve been silent and apart marked with anxiety, paranoia, anger. His intense loneliness and regret are multiplied a hundredfold, leaving Kylo a shell of who he wanted to be. 

Her warm touch grounds Kylo, an anchor to the present so he doesn’t get swept away by his emotions. Looking at Rey softly, a small fire suddenly blazes into an inferno within him. Standing straight with determination, the former Supreme Leader silently vows not to repeat the same mistake on Parmathe that cost him Rey. 

“No, and I haven’t been for a long time.” 

The quiet confession hangs in the air, heavier than the humidity sticking their clothes and hair to their sweaty skin. Rey’s eyes widen in surprise at his confession’s speed, her pink lips parting as she stares up at him. Her hand still cups his scarred face and though he is loathe to part from it, Kylo slowly steps away and walks in the temple’s direction. The little orb in his palm vibrates with happiness, one step closer to home. 

Silence settles around them as they walk deeper into the jungle. Darkness gives way to soft light slipping through the canopy openings. Insects and birds chirping their morning songs dim as other animals start their daily routines. 

“Is it because I ended things?” Rey asks a few hours later, looking straight ahead. Her brow furrows in determination, but Kylo sees her lip slightly quivering. 

“No,” Kylo tells her truthfully, looking at her through the corner of his eye. “It started long before you, but I think you leaving was a catalyst. Honestly, I don’t miss being Supreme Leader. I was miserable, unhappy and hollow, but too stubborn to change anything because it’s what I thought I wanted. 

“I believed I could change the galaxy for the better. But that was Snoke’s shadow looming over me, haunting me. Losing you and being here made me realize that.”

They walk out of the jungle into the sunlit plain expanding before them. An imposing structure of ancient, moss covered stone rests on the horizon. The enlarged moon slowly creeps towards the temple’s top on the right, the sun ascending from the left. Kylo sees where they’ll meet in the middle. 

Light and dark, together as one.

* * *

Rey doesn’t know what to say. Part of her is happy Ben realized the First Order isn’t where he wanted to spend the rest of his days, that he’s renouncing such a vile organization. Another part fears for him, his reputation and how that means people want him dead. And still another part of her is angry; why didn’t he realize this six months ago, when she gave him an ultimatum?

Her black orb sits peacefully in her hand, sucking in her anger and fear. Throughout the walk she had little trouble keeping it balanced; perhaps she’s more attuned to the dark than she originally believed. It frightens her slightly, but Rey still feels like herself. 

Maybe there’s nothing to really fear.

The silence stretches while Rey finds a way to respond, her brain short circuiting while searching for the words. She wants, needs, to meet Ben’s vulnerability with her own, despite the pain and fear of being so exposed to someone. He’s worth this. 

“I’ve been making the same mistakes Luke did,” she starts, carefully gauging him by mentioning his former master. Only a muscle twitched underneath his left eye; his free hand did not fist. 

When Ben says nothing, Rey continues, “I wanted you to leave everything you’d known behind. To come back to people you thought didn’t want you while not realizing the depth of Snoke’s influence on you. I believed you coming to my side would help fix things, but I didn’t trust you enough to make the decision on your own.

“I couldn’t see past my fear and anger, couldn’t see that you were still hurting. I tried pushing you into making a difficult decision when you needed to do it on your own terms, for yourself. I’m sorry, Ben,” she finishes, voice barely audible as she walks besides him. 

Ben swallows thickly, inhaling shakily. His free hand darts out, open and waiting. It takes Rey barely a second to interlace their fingers, the connection reverberating in her soul. The orbs hum pleasantly, content. 

Light and dark, connected and whole.


	6. Chapter 6

Rey’s laugh is shrill and bordering on hysterical, the sound sharp and biting. No humor lies underneath, only a dawning revelation. Ben shoots her a confused look, a dark eyebrow rising. 

She turns to him, flashing a large grin, the sunlight silhouetting him and causing her to squint. “I realized what the Force was trying to tell us, what Roth was trying to tell us!”

The temple’s dark entrance looms ever closer, a black maw waiting for its prey to willingly enter and never return. No stairs line the structure’s sides; the only way up is inside. Rey gulps but presses onward; she can handle fear. She feels propelled to take another step, closer and closer until she and Ben are standing at the entrance. 

Their hands are still intertwined; Rey squeezed reassuringly before stepping forward into the void.

* * *

It’s admittedly a little disappointing inside. Rey expected a labyrinthine structure of doors and walls, stairs leading to nowhere and tunnels built to mislead explorers. But there’s none, not even doors going to other parts of the temple. It seemed to have no point without grandeur.

The only entrance is the one through which Rey and Ben walked. They stand in the middle of an empty room, a dais with an altar in the center. Bright light filters its way through a large hole above them, carved from the temple’s top level. Peering up, Rey gauges the opening is large enough for the dais. 

Her orb, the Moon, glows darkly. It vibrates excitedly, nearly shaking off her palm before her fingers grip it tighter. Peeking a glance at Ben’s, she sees a miniature star lighting the path ahead of them.

“Are you going to tell me what your big revelation was?” Ben quips, lips lazily pulled into a teasing half smile. 

Inhaling deeply, her blood humming with anticipation because naturally this creepy, old temple would be where her Force connection returns. Rey remembers the bowels of decaying Star Destroyers on Jakku, the darkness poked through with sharp light in a forgotten era’s buried memories. 

Rey motions to the altar, tugging Ben along with her. She feels he already figured it out for himself, maybe even before she did. But of course he kept quiet about it, wanting Rey to discover it herself. 

Finally on the dais, staring down at the altar, Rey finds spaces for each of the orbs. A crescent moon is carved into the smooth stone on the right; a sun with eight rays carved onto the left. Their eyes meet at the same time, uncertainty, apprehension, and excitement brimming to the surface and reflected. Mirroring one another, Rey and Ben drop their orbs into their respective spaces. 

“Light and dark aren’t in a constant battle of domination. They just _are_ , existing together long before any memory could recall,” Rey whispers into the air. 

“Both halves of a beautifully flawed whole, connected and balanced as one. A beautiful grey,” Ben finishes. 

He squeezes her hand, staring longingly at her, eyes flicking briefly to her lips. The space between Rey and Ben rapidly closes, their eyes fluttering as their lips touch. Ben’s hand cups her neck, deepening the kiss as her arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer. 

Rey senses something deep within her opening up, filling the empty space with a balance,with a Force. She stretches out beyond her physical self, entangled in the mass of blinking lights in the comforting blackness that encompasses time and space. She feels Ben beside her, fierce, roaring, and bright in the Force. 

A deep rumbling breaks them apart, heads turning and searching for the noise’s source. The temple seemed to crumble atop their heads, burying them in rubble and dust. The blinding light loomed closer and closer, growing in intensity and heat. Rey’s afraid her atoms will dissolve into nothingness. She grips Ben closer, not wanting to let him slip through her fingers. 

The stone slab containing the dais quickly rises through the temple, closer and closer to the light. Only the rush of air against her face alerts Rey to the sensation of moving, her fear shrinking; they won’t be dissolving soon. The moon looms large overhead, the convergence nearly complete. Once the dais and altar rest firmly atop the temple Rey released her death grip on Ben’s shirt, her hand finding his to hold. 

Rey snaps her head up to the sound of low, throaty chuckling. Roth Gemini stands beside them, giving them a somewhat endearing toothless smile.

“So glad to have you back,” they greeted.


	7. Chapter 7

Roth’s eyes crinkle close with their large, toothless grin; Kylo’s happy to see it. Two days ago, he would’ve lunged for the priest’s neck, but now he feels an intense sense of gratitude. Kylo’s connection to the Force is stronger, healthier, a true understanding of what it actually is and how to move forward less painfully. Rey shines beside him. Her tanned and freckled face smiling up at him; their fingers remain interlocked. 

“So, what have you learned?” Roth asks, patiently staring at them. 

Rey answers before Kylo has a chance, eager to share her newfound knowledge. “The Force isn’t something vying for dominance between dark and light. It’s not trying to destroy either part of itself. It’s just trying to come together.”

Roth’s knowing gaze flicks to Kylo, waiting. He stops his eye roll but not his slight pout; of course Roth would doubt Kylo learned anything at all.

“Light and dark are parts of the whole, that come together in shades of grey. There’s pros and cons to each side, weaknesses and strengths. But nothing to destroy or attempt to do so. One’s connection to the Force is stronger once you understand this,” Kylo says, voice fading into a whisper. 

The gravelly sound of stone rubbing against stone breaks the reverent silence. Rey and Kylo jump back, the former’s arm held out protectively in front of him with a snarl on her face. Roth simply chuckles, chancing a quick glance at the rapidly darkening sky. 

In place of the orbs are two cylindrical tubes, dark grey coloring with a shine. 

“Lightsabers,” Kylo breathes, listening to the Force guiding him to the saber on the right. It’s a single blade, hilt almost the same size as his destroyed one back on Coruscant. The one on the left is significantly longer; Rey picks it up, the weight of the saberstaff familiar and comfortable in her palm. 

The sky above erupts in shimmering shades of indigo, pink, and lavender, seemingly alive and moving around them. The stars shine brightly, beacons of light promising travelers their way home. The Force stretches and breathes, relaxing into itself as a powerful amount is released all around Lao-mon. Rey’s hand reaches out, taking his in her calloused one. She thumbs the ignition, twin blades of silver light—like the moonlight—humming to life; he does the same, a single deep orange blade illuminating the small space like a tiny sun. 

“Are these ours?” he asks, still staring at his new saber. Kylo feels as if he knows the answer but wants a confirmation from Roth all the same. 

They nod their head, saying, “The temple provides you with what you need.” 

Kylo looks at Rey, breathing deeply as he’s aware of himself in this moment with her beside him and the convergence dancing around them in the heavens. They have what they need: a better grasp on the galaxy and Force as a whole, and each other, ready to forge paths through the grey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **fin**
> 
> (many many thanks to my wonderful friend Melisa for letting me talk at you about this thing when it was in the earliest of formations and for beta'ing; to [Lexi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Catrina) for being a second set of eyes and being my beta; to mods [Alexandra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/politicalmamaduck/pseuds/politicalmamaduck) and [Mneme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersnake/pseuds/bittersnake) for editing and making this the best it could be; and to you, for taking a chance on one of my stories. i hope you've enjoyed the ride, we'll see each other again ♡) 


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